10 Personality Traits of Adult Children of Alcoholics

Published “The Laundry List,” which describes common characteristics shared by most adult children with a parent with alcohol use disorder. ÀWhat you learn about yourself as you are growing up because a part of who you are and how you feel about yourself. Your parents, even if they recover and treat you differently, cannot fix what makes you feel bad about yourself.

Struggles in Romantic Relationships

One of the most common issues reported was a lack of trust in adults (more than 1 in 5). Others included having memories of abuse, violence, and neglect. In 2019, around 14.5 million people ages 12 and older in the United States were living with this condition, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). Readers also mention the book is valuable, well-written, and hopeful. Customers find the book very informative, insightful, and helpful.

1. Education would have spared me lots of pain from believing my mother’s problem was my fault and my responsibility to fix it.
2. Yeah, me, too, and when you step into the ACoA healing, you’ll want to shout, “Okay, now what?!
3. This reaction stems from a history of living in unpredictable environments, where they might have been subjected to erratic behavior from parents with alcohol addiction.
4. Others included having memories of abuse, violence, and neglect.
5. It can be a relief torealize that some of yourstruggles are common to ACOAs.

These traits can be particularly challenging for ACOAs, who may struggle with complex emotions and relationships stemming from their upbringing. Overreactions to change can manifest as emotional outbursts, anxiety attacks, or an overwhelming sense of fear or anger. This defensive mechanism serves as a form of self-protection, harkening back to the need for vigilance in their formative years.

Trauma Symptoms of Adult Children of Alcoholics

Understanding the root causes of inconsistency in ACOAs is crucial for developing therapeutic strategies that address these patterns. Through therapy and support, ACOAs can work towards establishing stability in their thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, thereby improving their overall quality of life. This is a huge lesson for many—for better or worse, addiction is outside of friends’ and family members’ control. But they can establish boundaries around the addiction and for the addicted loved one, and start to move forward in the healthiest way possible with a recovery of their own.

You deserve excellent care and a rewarding life in recovery.

From her belief that knowledge is power, Dr. Woititz gave millions of adults a second chance at a fulfilling life and the ability to break the cycle of addiction and dysfunction for their own children. You may find that you identify with some or all of these traits. The most popular is probably theLaundry Listfrom Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization. I developed this 10 Signs That Someone You Know Is Using Crack Regularly list from years of clinical practice with ACOAs.

The 12 steps

Impulsivity is not only a feature of personality disorders but can also be a symptom of broader mental health issues. Once these two aspects of self—the inner parent and child—begin to work together, a person can discover a new wholeness within. The adult child in recovery can observe and respond to the conflict, emptiness and loneliness that stem from a parent’s substance abuse, and they can mourn the unchangeable past. They can own their truth, grieve their losses and become accountable for how they live their life today.

That said, you are four times more likely to develop it than someone who doesn’t have a parent with AUD. If this was the case with your parent, you may have learned to pay attention to small, subtle signs at a young age. Never entirely sure how they’d act or react, you might have found yourself constantly on high alert, ready to respond accordingly and protect yourself. According to a small 2016 study involving 100 children ages 7 to 14, those who had fathers with alcohol dependence were more likely to show signs of impulsivity than those whose fathers did not have alcohol dependence. Growing up with a parent who has AUD can create an environment of unpredictability, fear, confusion, and distress, says Peifer.

Because there are so many alcoholic families and because we have been fortunate in being able to study them, it is possible to describe in general terms what happens to children who grow up in that environment. External messages that you’re bad, crazy, and unlovable become internalized. You’re incredibly hard on yourself and struggle to forgive or love yourself. During childhood, you came to believe that you’re fundamentally flawed, and the cause of the family dysfunction. Your needs must be met consistently in order for you to feel safe and develop secure attachments.

Our writers and reviewers are experienced professionals in medicine, addiction treatment, and healthcare. AddictionResource fact-checks all the information before publishing and uses only credible and trusted sources when citing any medical data. The roots of this habitual dishonesty often intertwine with the chaotic and unpredictable environments they may have experienced during childhood. Therapeutic interventions, such as counseling and support groups, can help ACOAs understand the root of their relationship difficulties. By addressing issues like codependency, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating self-awareness, ACOAs can work towards overcoming the patterns established in childhood. This healing process is crucial for ACOAs to build the foundation for successful and fulfilling romantic relationships.

This disease extensively harms not only the alcohol user but also their families. When you call our team, you will speak to a Recovery Advocate who will answer any questions and perform a pre-assessment to determine your eligibility for treatment. If eligible, we will create a treatment plan tailored to your specific needs. If The Recovery Village is not the right fit for you or your loved one, we will help refer you to a facility that is.